The end of All Things.

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

THE END.

People come, and people go.

My first uncle passed away recently.

I've been at his funeral the past few days. I can't imagine how it feels like for my grandma to see her child go before she does.

I am not shocked by the passing of my uncle. It was seen coming, just not so quickly.

People come, and people go.

Everyone says it's the part and parcel of life but that doesn't mean we will be able to just let it go so easily.

Whenever love exists between people, you'll forever be branded with their memories. It's just not so easy to just simply continue living like nothing ever happened. How could you? When everything and anywhere you go is filled with the essence of a lost love.

It's just so damn hard.

Grandma must be one terrific woman behind all that wrinkles.

That's something I wish I picked up from her.

Love... I'm guessing it's probably the forbidden fruit that got Adam and Eve kicked out of Paradise.

God's way of teasing humans.

ON HOLD

SORRY, LIFE'S GOING IN A STRAIGHT LINE.

GETTING MENTALLY PREPARED FOR RETURN OF MY FAMILY.

LIFE CHANGING EVENT YOU SEE.


ON HOLD.

Missing You

Dear You,

You were just an ugly being when I first got you on the night a few days after my birthday. You were the best gift I could have ever received for my 21st. Barely able to walk straight, so ugly that I could see whatever shit that going through your throat, yet somehow you were a fascinating little thing. You drove me nuts with your incessant squawking to be fed. I had to get up at the wee hours of the morning just to feed you before going back to bed, and sometimes even earlier if I had to go to work. You stank up your cage nearly every day and I had to wrinkle my nose and made sure that you had a nice clean and comfortable place to sleep. You made yourself be known by pooping everywhere you went. And for the first time in my life, I saw that it was possible for someone, or something to squirt poop. It was an amazing sight to see it fly right out of your cage and land a feet away. Too bad it all happened to quickly to be caught on tape.

You grew up so quickly before my very eyes, and before I knew it, my life revolved around you. You changed my lifestyle for the better. Because of you, I woke up earlier and slept earlier. You even made me stay away from my computer! And that's no easy feat. By then, you were starting to grow bigger and I went to get a bigger cage just for you.

It was such a joy to see you able to hop around and it was ever so fascinating to see what you would get up to when left to your own devices. Even ah ma - who chided me for buying you out of the blue - got attached to you as well. It was a cause for celebration when you finally knew how to fly. Zooming around the house looking for someone's shoulders to land on become a norm in the household. The flutter of your wings signalled your approach.

Your presence in the house is sorely missed by its inhabitants. I've never missed any pet like you before (even when the guinea pig died). That's how much you are loved. Then again, I did practically feed you ever since you were a week old. I missed how you stood next to me on my shoulder and would huddle close to me to nibble on my ear ever so gently. I swear you knew that I enjoyed it and know not to do it too hard. I knew you were smart. You learnt how to 'turnaround' so quickly even though at the sight of food you couldn't stop spinning. But that just makes you all the more cuter. You'd hang around whenever I was mopping the flloor, you'd hang around when I did my work on the computer (pecking at my fingers whenever I disturbed you and the mouse), you'd hang around on my iPad when I used it, you'd hang around Ah ma whenever she was cooking or chopping up vegetables. Now you're driving HER crazy. She randomly starts calling "Yeww, Yeuuuu. Yewwww."

You were the first ever pet in the Oh family to have a facebook page dedicated just fo you. And you nearly had a fan group going. Everyone wanted a picture with you on their shoulders or heads. It could have become a movement. We could have made it big, You and I.

But you decided to become a bitch and fly away did you not?

After all that I've done for you, the food the accommodation, and the love that we showered on you, you took off just like that! You're a f**ker! The worst! Like those stories of cheena women disappearing with their husband's cash. You stupid bitch, why'd you leave? You ingrate, I hope you starve.

Why're you so stupid?!?!?!?!?

Is it cause I didn't let you out of your cage long enough? Is it cause I laughed at you whenever you did something? What is it?

I'm sorry! I'm sorry I called you a f**ker, a bitch an ingrate! I'm sorry, please come back! I promise to leave your cage door open. I'll give you all the nuts you want. I won't force you to play dead. I'll let you poop all over the furniture if you want to.

ANYTHING. JUST COME BACK YOU STUPID BIRD.


Your dishevelled, on the verge of depression owner
Nick

We had good times didn't we? Come back You..

Heard Around The House

Jia: Eh Nick, eat tofu.
Nick: -Incredulous look-
Nick: Whaaat?! A girl's asking me to 吃她的豆腐？First time getting that.
Jia: Uhh what the?!

Sticky Tape of Love

I've been bumming around recently since I've been laid off at work (no biggie, I'm just waiting for a higher calling) and I started watching videos of my favourite "band", Flight of the Conchords again on youtube.

If you listen carefully to their lyrics of their songs, you would find meaningful words below all the witty humour mixed in with it. I've hardly come across a musical group that produces music like they do. Here's one of my all time favourite songs:

Lives are like retractable pencils
If you push them too hard they're gonna break
And people are like paper dolls
Paper dolls and people, they're a similar shape
Hmm hmm hm
Love is like a roll of tape
It's real good for making two things one
But just like that roll of tape
Love sometimes breaks off before you were done
Another way that love is similar to tape
That I've noticed
Is sometimes it's hard to see the end
You search on the roll
(search on the roll)
Search on the roll
(searching round the roll)
Search on the roll
(search)
With your fingernail
Again and again
And again and again
And again.
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with the tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff.
People people Chorus: Brown paper, white paper
Paper paper Stick it together with tape
Paper paper The tape of love
People people
People people
Pencil pencil
Pencil pencil
Paper paper
Put the pencil to the paper
Give the paper to the people
Let the people read about the sello tape
Oh baby baby
Yeah
You know, Jemaine, I've been thinking about love. And I guess it's the very stron-
gest adhesive.
Oh sorry, Bret. Were you talking to me? I was humming. What did you say?
Oh, just...nothing.
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff
Yeah
Ooh brown
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
Say it
Sticky
Stick stick
Stick it together
Ye-yeah

Awesome aren't they? Especially's Jermaine's "People people, paper paper..." part. I'm sure you'll like their other videos too. You should go check them out. Sadly, I heard that their programme has been discontinued on HBO. Boo!

Anyway wish I could go cycling again at ECP and just sit and chill. Wouldn't you? Let the waves roll away all our problems and stress! Haha I'm all ready for it, just ring me up anytime. Don't worry, I don't bite.

And now, back to my report!

Serve Me Up a "炒油渔!"

I woke up late this morning for work and immediately informed my boss that I overslept and will be there late. Perhaps not a very "creative" excuse but it was an honest and truthful reason for me turning up late right? That didn't go too well for my boss though.


SMS Conversation

Nick: "Ahh gonna be late! Sorry sorry just woke up."
Boss: "Where are you?"
Nick: "Yishun!"
Boss: "You're not working today?"
(THIS was the most confusing part. So he's implying that I didn't have to work today?)
Nick: "I'm not? Oh I thought I'm working 1130-9 no?"
Boss: "What time is it now?"
Nick: "What am I? Your timekeeper? Why don't you call the Mr LKY and ask him what day it is today too? Err so I'm not supposed to work today?"
Nick: "Uhh so I'm not supposed to be working today?"
Boss: "You reward yourself with a holiday?"
Nick: "Huh what? What holiday? The next ones not till next week what!"
(Presidential elections and me employing army's 'Act blur, live longer')
Boss: "What an attitude!"
Boss: "Send in your august hours."
(Ahh trying to dismiss me and act 一个 boss eh?)
Nick: "Attitude? What're you talking about?? I'm so confused!!"
(Me still trying to act blur.)
Boss: "Since when I told you not to work?"
Boss: "If u are not working today and do not give a proper reason, according to the standard procedure, you have to go."
(Wait whut? 'Standard procedure? There wasn't even a procedure he had in the first place! And 'proper reason?' I gave an honest and truthful answer! Did you want me to lie about something 'proper' to the occasion then?)
Nick: "Since just now lar! "You're not working today?" SEE. And I'm not going. The one who's going is YOU. I QUIT. You didn't fire me, you hear me fool?!"
(Always wanted to do that.)
Boss: "ok."

HAHAHAHA okay sorry that wasn't exactly what happened. Wished it was though. Go out with a bang ya know?


.
.
.
Nick: "Huh what? What holiday?"
(Employing army's "Act blur live longer motto.")
Boss: "What an attitude!"
(Oh guess that didn't work on him.)
Boss: "Send in your august hours."
Nick: "No no wait, I really really don't get it! I really thought I had to work today, but just now you said that I had no work today? So now I'm confused, do I have to work today?"
Boss: "Since when I told you not to work?"
Boss: "If u are not working today and do not give a proper reason, according to the standard procedure, you have to go."
Nick: "But I really did overslept! Ahh I see, okay okay. Well thanks for giving me a job in the first place though. It was good retail experience and I got to see how ugly customers can get. Interesting eyeopener. So long and hope your business booms!"
(Was contemplating about saying something mean, but didn't want to end up being immature like what happened before so I decided not to.)
Boss: "ok."

And there you have it, my boss treated me to a "炒油渔"! I'm not feeling to down about it. Just annoyed that he took my honest answer as an invalid excuse for being late at work. I have a feeling that he'd probably rather me lie to him something about bringing my grandma to the clinic or something. He ought to belong in the NSS, National Society of Sarcasm. If there was one... Kinda confusing when trying to understand him. He could be really nice and friendly one time like he treated me lunch then suddenly he's like this, firing me, making me redundant, obsolete to the company, laying me off, cutting loose ends. Whatever! I've been there for a while already and have been toying with the idea of finding a different job experience anyway. No time better than now!

Startling unexplained object found in "magical" red pail

Startling unexplained object found in "magical" red pail.
Randuhm Neus

A shiny metal food shredder was found in a red pail by Nick Oh, a teen just turned adult, only just after a recent discovery of a red fish in the exact same pail this morning.

"I was taking my usual morning shower when I saw it," said Nick, "at first I thought my grandma left it in there wanting me to scrub my body with this instead of those usual scrub thingies cause you know, I've got skin problem and it makes my skin dry and flaky sometimes, but I realized that she uses the same one to shred her carrots or whatever so I didn't use it though it looked quite new. Maybe if she got me a new one I would."


The sudden appearance of a random object found in this mysterious red pail.


What is startling is not that Mr Oh intended to use the shredder as a substitute for a scrub, but the fact that 2 random objects, one living and another non-living, had appeared out of nowhere an into the pail.

Such a mysterious and perhaps magical object such as this red pail could only be heard in children's tales and in movies. Doraemon had a belly pocket with unlimited storage space (wow, no need to rent warehouses for storage any more, just rent Doraemon), and the Chinese children's tale of "巨宝碰" is about a magical pot that duplicated any item thrown into it.

Ongoing Investigations

Could this ordinary looking household pail be a manifestation of such legendary objects? There is no doubt that Mr Oh has not yet realised that he is in possession of a coveted treasure.

Authorities have removed the Red Pail (more of fear that the founder would harm himself) to an underground research facility at Jurong Island and investigations on the mysterious Red Pail has commenced. According to one of the researchers, the pail could be an "alien transportation vessel disguised as a simple household pail."

On whether there has been any further developments following the investigations, head researcher of Jurong Island Dr. Dray Mon-Stuhbeets explains, "I apologize as this is classified state project. All I can tell you for certain is that this amazing vessel, possibly extra-terrestrial in nature, has the ability to hold a large quantity of water. It's makers, I would hazard a guess, 'Toyogo' has done an impeccable job on it. It's material is very durable, and created in a round circular shape. Who doesn't like round things? That is all I have to comment thank you."

Randuhm Neus has been unable to get hold of any information for the moment as Jurong Island has been closed off to the public and it's staff were not permitted to disclose any information of this ever mysterious pail. "A press conference will be arranged in due time to answer the public's curiosity." informs a spokesperson for the research group amid outcries from the general public for transparency of the investigations. Results of the investigations are pending further development and no compensation seems to have been made to Mr Oh other than a new bath scrub that arrived in his mail that afternoon.

Red Fish in Red Pail

Red fish in red pail.

(insert picture of red pail)

I'm quite sure you've seen this red pail before. Heck, I'm doubly ass sure that all of you have it somewhere IN your house. It's synonymous with the typical Singaporean household. My mum uses it, my aunts uses it, my neighbors uses it and last of all, my grandma uses one too(no wait, half a dozen actually). And that's where the problem lies.

Last night, while I was taking my bath after coming home weary from work, I didn't realize there was someone (if you could call it so), together with me in the shower.

I was holding the shower-head at the top of my head, almost done washing the shampoo off my hair (and yes, contrary to belief, I do use shampoo. BECAUSE I HAVE HAIR NOW!) and ready to chuck it back into the red pail which holds the bath water when a ripple that splashed across the surface of the water caught my eye. At first I did not think much of it; it could perhaps be nothing more than just the hose connected to the shower head knocking against the pail, thus disturbing the water.

However, when I turned towards the pail, ready to chuck the shower-head into it, I nearly wet myself, (aha! A pun!) and I cried, "WTF!" Oh and what-the-fish indeed, for there was indeed a fish in pail. A red goldfish of some-sort in a red pail. How nice.

Now, WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD PUT A F__KING FISH (aha! An alliteration! Including this very sentence!) in a pail meant for holding water to use for bathing?! My mind immediately thought of my grandmother. Having been living in my grandmother's household for almost 2 years now, it should hardly come as a surprise that such a thing has occurred really. She's been known to have many "queer" (maybe it wasn't half a century ago?) habits. She works part time as a karang-guni woman, likes cleaning the walls when Chinese new year draws near as part of the annual big cleaning event (who does that?), and finally, one which I cannot stand: She uses the same pail for everything else.

For that one pail, she could use it to: rinse the mop with when mopping the house, soak our laundry in it before putting it into the washing machine, collect the water that comes out from the washing machine during a wash, and a few times I've caught her using it to soak her vegetables or whatever foul looking Chinese food (I shudder to think that it is edible) in it too! So I suppose, using it to house a goldfish should not be a big hoo-ha huh? Oh and speaking of the fish, I think I nearly killed it at the start of my shower. For some reason, whenever the heater is on, and right at the start when you turn on the tap to the shower, water close to boiling point (yes I'm sure, you can see steam rising from the shower-head) gushes out. I'm well aware of that therefore I always put it in the pail for the first few seconds until the water temperature returns to normal. So could you imagine, if not for the pail being already half filled with cool water, how could the fish have survived?! I'm glad I did not have to find one boiled fish with soup on my conscience.

Anyway, my grandmother is incredible. Don't you think so? And so are her fried crispy eggs. (Crispy cause of the shells.) Or it could be my brother's doing for I'm sure that my grandmother did not buy the fish. If that's the case, I would acknowledge him as incredible like my grandmother, incredibly stupid that is.

The fish lives on in the pail as we speak.

Oh and it was my incredibly stupid brother who did that.

Heard Around The House

Nick: Okay I'll go get the tickets later.
Don: Got tit pits?
Nick: WTF ARE TIT PITS?!
Don: Bits.
Nick: OMG SO EPIC. Err alright I'll go get it later.
Don: Gotta have those titpits.

Catch-Up

Wow, things at work sure is getting exciting.

As y'all know, I'm working at an IT shop, House of Mouse for the past month, (been working there right before enlisting too) and it's a pretty alright place to be working at if you're interested in IT related things. Plenty of things to learn about too. Get to handle working with customers and get to admire the one or two hot chicks that come by once in a while. And of course, the people that I'm working with are... Alright I suppose.

There used to be a really nice lady who apparently got fired (rumours, hearsay) by the boss on the grounds that she started walking all over his head. It is hard to believe that because she really is one of the nicest people I've met. Besides working with us, she is a part timer as an instructor with St John (The Red Cross or something) and often goes on camping trips with schools. Working with her is never boring; she has plenty of stories to share, horror ones I might add. I even used to look forward to going to work the next day! Alas, she was fired by my boss, even though they were the same age. (It all sounded quite childish to me when I heard it from my other colleague.) Anyway, my boss is nice enough, only until recently he started being quite anal.

The first incident where he started getting all naggy (like a woman) on me was when I took out my phone while waiting for the hard disks to format. He whipped his head around upon hearing me click-clacking away on my phone. "You, what are you doing? No smsing or using phone during office hours. Only boss can use. Next time I see I will confiscate it." The way he spoke to me, you would have thought that I was some primary school kid or something. Then after that he went on some rampage by dragging my cousin (who also works there) in and mass sending out texts to us warning us that "repeat offenders will be severely dealt with" and if we so happen to dare try it again, we will "not be needed at work tomorrow". He wasn't like that before.

The second one happened just recently. IMHO, I find it really childish. I was working my shift over at the other branch (there's 2 branches: Suntec and Textile Centre being the main branch) when the lady working at the shop opposite ours (some tour agency) came over and asked whether I could shift the disco laser lights away from their shop cause it was hurting her eyes. I apologised and I turned the thing away from their shop and had it aiming its lasers on the floor near a rival shop (according to our Boss cause they sell similar items). I knew they wouldn't mind cause Hausan (my cousin) told me that they actually wanted it to be shone upon their shop. Somehow this didn't bode well with my Boss who sent me this sms after I left work:

"Who keep turning away my disco laser to point at (shop's name)? How many times must I repeat? We are displaying and selling the product using our electricity or providing free publicity for (shop's name)? Who? Own up."

My god. What was all the big fuss about?? I did not understand his reason. Did it really matter that much? I mean c'mon! So us shining our laser at our rival's shop will somehow inadvertently bolster their sales? Could our sales-boosting-profit-driving-publicity-earning laser beams really do so much damage?

IT'S JUST A FRIGGING PIECE OF MACHINE DISPLAYING DISCO LIGHTS LAR.

Must flip out like a woman meh? Seriously, it's like he's going to have his period (picture those bits and pieces of blood coming outta his d**k or ass. That's guys having their periods) or something.

My day didn't end off any better than that. I bought Subway (best fast food in the world) home only to spill my cup of drink in the bus. I blame the driver, he stepped on the brakes with a little too much gusto. Playing basketball didn't improve my mood either cause the people I played with was crap. I'm the best player in town people. The only thing that calmed me down was when I start playing on my guitar. Can't quite play a song yet, but slowly! It's fun. Wished my parents sent me for lessons when I was younger.

Oh and I signed up for a course did I mention? Certificate in Digital Journalism (comes with a free iPad2!) A little costly but nevertheless, it's all for a good cause. I am sure it will come in handy when I start school in August. The first lesson of the course begins tomorrow night. Every Tuesday and Thursday. I'm quite pumped up about it. (I would have shot myself if I heard me saying that 3 years ago.) Maybe it's cause after 2 years of doing nothing particularly mind boggling, you'd start looking forward to it again. And I hope it stays that way. For once, I am eager and looking forward to learning new things in life. I feel like I have finally found out what I want to do in life and I'm willing to put aside my discomforts and go all out for it. (Finally Nick!)

Haha so wish me the best. I don't want to live my life the way I did before; being comfortable with just doing what is sufficient. Nuh uh, not anymore I won't. I see what it is that I want, and grab it I will.

Oh and while I'm going on about this, I must mention someone.

My dad.

He's never been the vocal one in showing his love for his children, but what he lacks in this, he makes it up more than ever in his action alone. (And I guess that's one of the reasons why my mother fell in love with him!) You know how when you're young, whatever your friends have, you must have it too? And you'll go home and beg your parents to get it for you. Yeah same here. I'd come home and whine and beg and whine first to my mum (who'll always tell me off for wanting unpractical things) then to my dad. He'll always tell us no, that he's not going to get it. But eventually, somehow or rather, he'll eat his own words and still get it for us. (Like my digimon!)

And he has never failed to do so up till today.

I was texting him on Viber a few weeks ago and we were talking about my job and school when this is what he told me:

"Hope this part time is not very tough job. Remember I'll support you in whatever way to help you to accomplish your degree. If cannot cope must tell me in future."

"Any difficulty you face in life, your mum and I will be there for you."

Uh, I was pretty surprised to hear that. Like I said before, he has never been the vocal one. It took me a good half an hour of re-reading that particular message before I made myself believe that it was all real. I suppose no one can really appreciate their parents until they grow up. Some people are able to do so earlier in life, while others take a little longer. But whatever the case, parents will always look out for their flesh and blood. They always care. But in different ways that's all.

We just need to open our eyes and hearts a little more.

With that said, I leave you with pictures (only 2 actually) of me when I was in Kukup, Malaysia. I had a really awesome time, if you are a friend of mine on facebook (sounds really sad doesn't it, "facebook friend") you could check out the pictures and videos I posted.

My short lived cowboy days.




She kindly agreed to be the punching bag for my pent-up frustrations.

500 Days of Summer

I was watching this movie, "500 Days of Summer" in the wee hours of the morning and I really feel that I could watch it a thousand more times and still not get sick of it. Somehow it reminds me of my life and myself. I was really connecting with it, especially so with Tom. You should watch it if you already haven't.

These here are a few quotes from the movies which I felt held some sort of meaning to me:

Tom: I love how she makes me feel, like anything's possible, or like life is worth it.

Summer: You weren't wrong, Tom. You were just wrong about me.

Rachel Hansen: Quit being a pussy.

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you. (Ouch... I know how THAT feels.)

Tom: Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.
Summer: I know.
Tom: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer: And I can't give you that. Nobody can.

Tom: Did you ever do this, you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?

Summer: There's no such thing as love, it's fantasy...

Summer: We're just friends.
Tom: No! Don't pull that with me! Kissing in the copy room? Holding hands in IKEA? Shower sex? Come on! Friends my balls!

Fried Nuggets of Wisdom

There's good in everyone. It's just covered by the icky stuff. And when you do get past the muck and to the good, there will be one person waiting in your life, who will be able to see the greatness in you and tell you how awesome you are everyday.

Nick

Toilet-A-Hunting.

Stayed over at Terry's place cause we wanted to go swimming the next day. Messed around with his computer playing the now free-to-play TF2. (So glad that I didn't spend a cent on it!) Then as usual we had prata in the middle of the night. I believe there's something special about eating prata with your friends and family in the middle of the night. Something almost magical and very memorable. Something you'll only be able to do in Singapore. Makes us bond together more don't you think?

I "woke up in the morning..."(Cue: Kesha's, "Tick Tock")



...And had trouble getting up cause we slept so late! Kept mumbling, "snooze, snooze 5 minutes Terry." And he somehow was already wide awake. After snoozing for about an hour, (bet my underwear that anyone reading this that you do that all the time too) we finally headed over to the swimming pool at Yio Chu Kang. And did I mention, I was like all dressed and ready with my things and stuff, only to realise that the pool was closed for maintenance!?

What a total bummer!

With our plan for the day foiled, stranded in YCK with no backup plan, and I, who had not had my bath since yesterday afternoon, Terry brought me to NYP (his poly) to take a shower. I was kinda surprised at how easy it was to enter. There were no security guards at all, nothing. Then Terry explained that it was an open campus, people were allowed in. Still... With terrorism so rampant in this day and age, one can't help but be a little paranoid. (What if a suicidal Sikh student tried to blow up the school with a bomb hidden in his turban? No offense to them though, not trying to be racist here.) Anyway, I was really intrigued by poly life. It was my second time here, but somehow you see things differently after going through NS. (Or maybe cause we've all grown and wised up.) It felt kinda familiar yet new at the same time. Reminds me of my secondary school life 'cept that no one was in uniform anymore. Man, poly lifesure looks fun and exciting. Feeling a tinge of regret now...

The showers weren't too shabby actually. However I don't know how often the cleaners maitain the place. I saw a bunch of hair all balled up at the drain in the corner. Makes me kinda naseuous when I started wondering what it could be made up of.

A ball of pubes most likely.

Then it has to be HELLUVA large ball of pubes indeed. Thank god I did not step on it. Felt refreshed and ready to be off. Showering in a public school made me wish there were public bath houses in Singapore, just like Japan! Now wouldn't that be convenient? Headed over to Nihon Mura for or brunch. Here's a video:




(Wow my teeth look especially white in the video. Yes? And pardon my mumbling, I was trying to say how it turned out to be a funny morning because it seemed like we came all the way down to YCK to take a morning shower in NYP.)

Went to Orchard after that to hunt for Terry's "Chic and Geek" attire for his school camp. Oh and it was my first time using the toilet in ION Orchard. I had no idea how "attas" it was. (Aha! Singlish word I just learnt. Means posh! Right?) Full length mirrors lined the linoleum walls and the urinals were all so sparkly clean and nice to pee in without any visible pubes hanging from it. Woowee. I am impressed. I took longer than I needed in there just to soak in the view. Can't imagine how some hawker centers actually have 5 star toilet ratings...

Shall go toilet-hunting one day.

Oh and this will be my new hairstyle! (I'm talking about the braided hair coming down on his right shoulder.) Just waiting for my hair to grow. Obi Wan Kenobi...



It starts growing from the behind the ear, near the tips. How long do you think it'll take to grow that long? I'm really looking forward to it!

Heard Around The House

"Before 上厕所, 去 toilet."
- Teng Hauwei

"Kill 2 stone with 1 bird."
"Kill 1 bird with 2 stone."
- Mother

"You wanna hear about my post prelim study plans? You will be 吓到."
- Don Oh

Get Stomped!

I've been working throughout the month of June for a pay that doesn't factor in the risks of the work and stuff. The owner crams so much products into such a tiny store that it becomes dangerous just navigating its aisles. If you don't watch yourself, and you trip, I'm pretty sure you would get impaled by the many hooks found in the store.

Anyway, today wasn't a very good day. Apparently my boss flipped cause I was "caught" texting on my phone while working. I had no idea it was such a crime. Okay I guess it wasn't very appropriate to use my phone during work hours I admit, and I apologise. However, it's not like I ignore the customers or the shop when I'm using my phone! And besides, I was only using for that minute while waiting for the hard disks to format! (It's not like I could be doing anything else while waiting for it format.) So now, "SMS and iPods are banned during work hours. Dissidents will be dealt with harshly." Something along that line.

I believe that I didn't do anything wrong though. Whatever, I shall accede to his requests. Since I need $. It'll be hard to find another job for the next two months anyway.

Oh and I think I'm really asking to be STOMPED.

HAHAHA. Now most of the time when I'm taking the bus home, I'll buy some snacks or whatever and if I can't finish it before I get to the bus stop, I'll eat it on the bus. I did think about how it would look to others. But I was hungry and I didn't really care. Actually, I'll welcome anyone to take a picture of me and post it on STOMP.

That'd be so cool lar!

Haha I can imagine the captions: Typical inconsiderate Singaporean teen blatantly flouts no eating on-board rule and sets bad example for kid who looks on.

Yeah and there really was a kid who kept staring at me the entire time I was eating my Korean Boneless Chicken Thigh. (It taste awesome btw. You can get it at the basement of Northpoint.) I didn't know whether he was hungry or just in awe at my derring-do. I felt really tempted to offer him a piece and see how'd he react.

"Here boy! Come share with kor kor! We can both get stomped together."

People of the Prata

Today was a pretty fun day.

Went to work as usual. I realized that there were lesser customers on weekends as compared to weekdays. Weird. Working in the outside world made me realize how much the army organization actually takes care of you. (But it does come at a price.) It is true that they provide everything for you: Accommodation, food and allowance. Heck, if you had a little bit of the miser spirit in you, you could have at LEAST two thousand at the end of your service. For real. But of course, being the needy people that we are, saving that amount veers on the impossible. Money came so easily back then. Makes me appreciate even more now. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I like being in there.

Went over to cousin Shuwei's house-warming after work. It was all the way at Fernvale. Seemed to me like it was built in the middle of nowhere. Getting to town took would take forever. Oh and did I mention it was my first time taking the LRT?

Wow. It's so small. When I first got on it, I took my place at the front to get a good look of things. I've seen LRTs plenty before, but it was the first time being on one, and I never realize how high up they were. It had an awesome view that overlooked the entire area But the thing I was most amazed with was the tracks it was running on. At one part of the journey, the tracks suddenly started to slope upwards, and at that moment it really reminded me of a roller coaster track. I half expected it to swoop downwards once it got over the peak. But of course it did not and I was kinda disappointed. To me then, the LRT was just a phony roller coaster wannabe. It had all the right looks, but none of the feeling. It felt like eating fried ice cream you know? Since it is fried, you would have imagined that whatever was inside would be scalding hot, but amazingly it's cold.

Good attempt SBS, but you're not quite cut out in creating good roller coaster in Singapore.

Tried to fly a kite with my cousin after dinner but only ended up with muddy shoes and a poor kite that got it's tail half snipped off cause we all thought it would lighten it's load when taking off. Went back and had a good time messing around with the PS3. It's been a long long time since I bruised my thumb abusing the controller playing Street Fighter! (The last time I did it was when I was in primary 4! And the skin came off my thumb afterwards.) Good ol' fun. Decided to buy a PS3 with my cousin Hausan. Impulsive buy? Whatever, retail therapy, I realized, did make me feel good, on the contrary that it only applied to girls. (I thought it was especially true after my recent bout of shopping fever in Malaysia with my friends. First time I spent so much on clothes. 70 bucks!) Oh well, it was cheap anyway, and besides, the PS2 that I had is dead, thanks to my younger cousins.

At midnight, we suddenly made a random unanimous decision to have prata! Woo. There's something about having prata after midnight. I guess doing so bonds us together somehow. PRATA UNITES PEOPLE. Didja know?

I realized that I like being around family crowds like this. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I suppose no one ever wants to feel alone. It's good to know that despite the coming and going of people that you have fallen in love with and thus the voids that it leaves behind, your family will still always be there to fill up the emptiness and make you whole again.

People of the Prata Unite!

Dreams

The last few nights, I have been dreaming the same dream. It's almost always the same. The person and what was happening. Just some variations here and there. But it makes me wonder, are they trying to tell me something?

I have been searching online for the meaning of dreams. So I have come to a conclusion that my dreams are categorised under, "Prophetic" and "Recurring." So it is a a recurring prophetic dream. What is this you say? Well recurring is self-explanatory. Prophetic dreams according to dreammoods.com are

"Prophetic dreams, also referred to as precognitive or psychic dreams, are dreams that seemingly foretell the future. One rational theory to explain this phenomenon is that your dreaming mind is able to piece together bits of information and observation that you may normally overlook or that you do not seriously consider. In other words, your unconscious mind knows what is coming before you consciously piece together the same information."

Apparently having this type of dreams means that I have been experiencing anxiety (ahem) and seeking the desire for certainty. Wow how true is that? It also says that "You are looking to your dream to help you with an important decision and reassure you that you are on the right path." Hmm and you know what I think about this?

IT'S ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Sure I dreamt of peace. I dreamt that you and I were back the way we were. Oh no, how wrong I was. I hate myself for conjuring such stupid dreams. Such stupid fucking useless dreams. Wait, they aren't even dreams! They're nightmares. When I see your face they become nightmares. Haunting me, taunting me with the past while you stand there glaringly in the grim face of reality. Your little words, your little thoughts, your stupid status updates, they're inconsequential little bits of your life, but they're jumping out of my screen, taking me by the neck, choking me and screaming into my ears. I would have destroyed my computer if not for the absence of a knife or something similar in my room. Right now, I'm so mad, I'm ready to break my keyboard, I'm ready jump out the window in my room. The field below looks so inviting, the grass so soft. I could feel the wind rushing down my face as I jump now with the warmth of the sun sending me off, providing me warmth to the afterlife. One where I'll see you in the depths of hell, chained to a wall of gushing lava. And Satan's fiends playing with your mind like how you did with mine. And I'll stand from afar, gleefully taking in all this... Pleasure.

Poisonous words from Nick.

If you ever see this, I know what you're going to say. "I don't have to tell you how you're not mature, just take a look at yourself." Yeah, I know. I'm immature now, but I don't care, I just feel like doing what I want now.

But when I have calmed down, in mind and soul. I will write to you when I feel better and more clear headed.

But till then...

FUCK THIS.

Can of Whoop-Ass.

I am back from my audition!

It was definitely a pretty interesting experience, but not quite what I thought it would be. You know, the sets, the lighting and large cameras and stuff. I really did thought there would be some props or sets for the ones being cast to act in. Haha apparently since it is just auditions it wasn't necessary. The casting coordinator (my secondary school friend, PQ) got me to fill up a casting form when I got there and after which she passed me a piece of paper with about 6 different scenes to try out in it. There was 2 particular scenes that I was recommended to try out since it was simpler in the sense that it would easier to act out. It wasn't all that hard to memorise since I had to say only a few lines. (And at the end of the day, the line that stuck and is still stuck to my head is, "He's an egotistical, self centred, fool.")

I was brought into a private room with a camera and had a microphone attached to me. I had mug shots taken of me and then we started. It wasn't all that scary actually. Simply put, it was like having oral exams but your facial expressions were taken into account for marks as well. Yes that is all. I messed up here and there and we had a few retakes (cause I forgot my lines) and finally that was it.

I'm actually quite glad that I did something like this. If it was the older me, I would have found excuses to get out of it or last minute lies even if I did manage to psycho myself to do it. But now that I actually did, I feel pretty good about it. Well done Nick! I'm happy that I've stopped bumming around and actually doing things that I want to, and not regretting it.

Oh, do you know what happened to me on the way home? (Rhetorical! Of course you wouldn't know what happened.) I got swamped by those surveyors or whatever you call them. You know those that camp around crowded places and bottlenecks so they can pick off gullible people into selling their souls to the devil and earn commission for themselves? I'm sure you do. And I am also very sure that you have met with them before at least once in your life and have felt irritated.

Aren't they annoying?! But I'm also curious to know how many people actually do stop to listen. 10 out of 1000? They must be fools. Anyway, I have probably been caught by them too many times to count.

I have had enough.

It is time to strike back. The next time any of them show any signs of approaching me, this will happen: Legs wide open to lower my centre of gravity, arms up and ready to break heads, strong defensive stance and I will stand my ground and tell them, "Do NOT come any closer. You definitely do not want me to open my can of whoop-ass."

No of course I would not do that. But I always wanted to say "You want me to open a can of whoop-ass?" to someone. But really, the next time they do appear in front of me, I will open my eyes in terror, grab my bag tightly and run away as fast as I can as if they were the plague itself, in hope that the rest of the potential victims will follow suit.

Spread of Perfection

You know how every time you open up and look inside a new bottle of that Nutella (peanut butter etc.) spread, it is just a smooth perfect layer sitting there?

Well yeah, I like looking at that perfect layer. I wish that it would stay that way every time I open up my bottle of Nutella. Each time I dig my buttering knife into that layer, I would be dismayed. It happened just this morning and I realised that I did not like spoiling it. As I was munching away on my bread spread with Nutella, I was wondering if there was any way to maintain that perfect layer and here was some idea that I came up with:

• Try and use the knife to spread it back to what it was before. (It wasn't possible cause either the blade of the knife will get in the way or it just won't!)
• Use some sort of "stamp" to stamp it back into shape.
  
• Heat it up until it starts becoming more watery then shake it up a little, wait for it to sit and pray that when it cools, it will be as perfect as it used to be.
• Or just finish the entire bottle straight so you would not have to look at the ugly slosh inside any more.

I ran out of ideas after I finished consuming my bread. Don't you guys get perturbed by this? If you have any ideas, please feel free to comment.

On a similar note, I am going down for my very first audition to act on a request from a friend of mine. I have even surprised myself at my sudden decision to take up her offer. I am utterly confident that I have absolutely no forte in this aspect. But what made me do it? Well, everyone should do something spontaneous once in a while right? It makes life that little more exciting to live in. Same concept with eating. Don't tell me you spend every day eating the same food. If you do, I would not like to get to know you, cause I would have known what kind of person you are already. So yes, in my search for perfection (as in, searching for something that defines me) I have decided to try my hand at acting.

Wish me luck people. I'll provide an update on how it went.