Dreams

The last few nights, I have been dreaming the same dream. It's almost always the same. The person and what was happening. Just some variations here and there. But it makes me wonder, are they trying to tell me something?

I have been searching online for the meaning of dreams. So I have come to a conclusion that my dreams are categorised under, "Prophetic" and "Recurring." So it is a a recurring prophetic dream. What is this you say? Well recurring is self-explanatory. Prophetic dreams according to dreammoods.com are

"Prophetic dreams, also referred to as precognitive or psychic dreams, are dreams that seemingly foretell the future. One rational theory to explain this phenomenon is that your dreaming mind is able to piece together bits of information and observation that you may normally overlook or that you do not seriously consider. In other words, your unconscious mind knows what is coming before you consciously piece together the same information."

Apparently having this type of dreams means that I have been experiencing anxiety (ahem) and seeking the desire for certainty. Wow how true is that? It also says that "You are looking to your dream to help you with an important decision and reassure you that you are on the right path." Hmm and you know what I think about this?

IT'S ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Sure I dreamt of peace. I dreamt that you and I were back the way we were. Oh no, how wrong I was. I hate myself for conjuring such stupid dreams. Such stupid fucking useless dreams. Wait, they aren't even dreams! They're nightmares. When I see your face they become nightmares. Haunting me, taunting me with the past while you stand there glaringly in the grim face of reality. Your little words, your little thoughts, your stupid status updates, they're inconsequential little bits of your life, but they're jumping out of my screen, taking me by the neck, choking me and screaming into my ears. I would have destroyed my computer if not for the absence of a knife or something similar in my room. Right now, I'm so mad, I'm ready to break my keyboard, I'm ready jump out the window in my room. The field below looks so inviting, the grass so soft. I could feel the wind rushing down my face as I jump now with the warmth of the sun sending me off, providing me warmth to the afterlife. One where I'll see you in the depths of hell, chained to a wall of gushing lava. And Satan's fiends playing with your mind like how you did with mine. And I'll stand from afar, gleefully taking in all this... Pleasure.

Poisonous words from Nick.

If you ever see this, I know what you're going to say. "I don't have to tell you how you're not mature, just take a look at yourself." Yeah, I know. I'm immature now, but I don't care, I just feel like doing what I want now.

But when I have calmed down, in mind and soul. I will write to you when I feel better and more clear headed.

But till then...

FUCK THIS.