Down Down

Down Down.

I feel like crap today. I woke up not feeling like going to school for no particular reason but I still did go to school.

Lit tutorial was terrible. I couldn't keep my head up and I kept dozing off while the teacher was going on about something. (It all becomes background noise when I'm starting to doze off) She called on me twice. "Nick!" Aiee. She even proclaimed to the whole class that I have not handed up a single essay and I'll have no CA marks. What's up with that? Don't have to let the WHOLE WORLD know about it. The second time she called me, I thought I sensed a little frustration in there. "Go wash your face!"

I felt the stares of the class drill into my back when I stood up to go to the toilet. Their stares kind of rips me apart. Strips me down. I don't know. I keep freaking out when stuff like this happens. I become paranoid. Thoughts go around my head. Like what people think about me. I think even my CT sees me as hopeless. I swear the whole world's against me.

"Nick... He's such a lazy ass. Never does his work. He's doomed for sure."
"He's hopeless. Never going to make it."

I know people probably won't see me that way but it's hard not to thnk about it. And the fact that mid course is upon us with the first one tomorrow, starts to weigh down on me. Feels like I'm carrying a boulder around my neck. I think I'm really strung up. I'm not sure what I should do. I'm trying to study. Lit seems hopeless. Hearing what's going on in class and not understanding a bit makes it worse. Perhaps I'm better off not in JC. I haven't felt this terrible in my life before. I really hate this feeling. Wish a time hole would appear and and let me get sucked back to the past. My innocent worry free past. SIGHS.

I think I'll never make it to year 2. I'm not being pessimistic or anything. Just that... It really looks bleak. Very slim chances of passing. I thought perhaps my history I might pass. Maths and Chinese too. That's all. I need another H2 to pass. Lit or econs? Tough. Damn parents. is it really THAT bad if I cannot make it to year 2? Is it really THAT bad if my sister ends up in Uni earlier than I do? Is it THAT bad if I wasted one year? Is it THAT bad if i got a diplmoa and not a degree?

IS IT?



I'm going down...

So Close! So Close!

So Close! So Close!

Ohhh nooo... Mid course is coming!! So quick! Only seven more days! Ahh! I'm scared shitless. What if I fail? What If I retain? Nooo. So scary. So scary. I think the worst is how my parents will react to me failing mid course and not getting promoted to year 2. After all the money they spent on notes and stuff... AND I FAIL THEM!

Aargh. Everyone seems to be studying at home now. Even the people who wants to go to poly next year seem to be studying for mid course. What is this?! I'm doooomed. I'll disappoint my family. I'll disappoint my aunts, uncles, my cousin who's teaching me, teachers from sec school. I'll be ashamed to go back now!

What is happening to me? I didn't use to be like this though. I dunno... I dun have the motivation at all to study. I wonder why. And there's this nagging thought in my head. Keeps me on my toes... Hope I get over that soon. My life's a mess! Even thought about death. I don't count myself as suicidal, just... I dunno. I wonder how life will be like without Nick Oh in the world... Something like that... Yea something...



One And Only

Feat Fall Out Boy


(Timbaland)

I'm head over heels for someone I
that I really cant' deal with
I wanna block her from my mind
but I really can't do it
I tell myself this the last time
Ima let her do this to me
Whenever we do spend time I realize
that I can't get enough of you.

(Bridge)
Wipe that smile off your f**king face,
[then i say to u]
Wipe that smile off your face.
[then i say to u]
Wipe that smile off your f**king face,
[then i say to u]
Wipe that smile off your face.

(Chorus)
To be despised, to be loved.
To be dreamt of, to be sought.
On the inside I don't care
Right in the middle,
I'm right in the middle
To be despised, to be loved.
To be dreamt of, to be sought.
On the inside I don't care
Be my unholy, my one and my lonely.

(Verse 2)
I wear scarves and hoods cause it's the only poker face that I've got left
And everything I love about you is a mess
Smash the mirror and break the palm reader's hands
I want to be better than I am.

(Bridge)
Wipe that smile off your f**king face,
[then i say to u]
Wipe that smile off your face.
[One And Only lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

[then i say to u]
Wipe that smile off your f**king face,
[then i say to u]
Wipe that smile off your face.

(Chorus)
To be despised, to be loved.
To be dreamt of, to be sought.
On the inside of I don't care
Right in the middle,
I'm right in the middle
To be despised, to be loved.
To be dreamt of, to be sought.
On the inside of I don't care
Be my unholy, my one and my lonely.

(Verse 3)
Girl just look what you done,
How could you do this to me?
I gotta put my foot down,
I can't let you do this to me.
I can't forget those good old times,
and all those things you were doing to me.
I wanna hit that one more time,
I'm in love with what you're doin to me.
Ima say it loud
right, right, left, up in this crowd
Why we arguin'?
I thought me and you were suposta be friends.
Let's chill for a minute,
Better yet, we needta heal for a minute.
Baby, put down the knife,
sometime I wanna save your life...[but I'm coool]

(Chorus)
To be despised, to be loved.
To be dreamt of, to be sought.
On the inside I don't care
Right in the middle,
I'm right in the middle
To be despised, to be loved.
To be dreamt of, to be sought.
On the inside I don't care
Be my unholy, my one and my lonely.

Describes my mood...

LEET WORLD!!!

LEET WORLD!!!


Good evening peeps! I'm here again and I'm pumped about something! Woots yes! Its friggin' awesome and I'm sooo glad I stumbled upon it. OMG I just LOVE IT! What is it you say? Hmm its...


LEET WORLD!

What is Leet World you ask? Well my amigos, it is a story based around models from Counter Strike: Source the game. Where four Terrorists and four Counter Terrorists were picked to live in a house and we wonder what will happen to them. It is like a reality show. Here's a trailer of Leet World. If you like the trailer, you'll love the coming episodes! It's really really good! I've kinda squeezed it here in my blog so it would be better if you watched it from youtube itself to enjoy it fully.




Well that's all I can say. Really up to you! I've been gettin my good doses of endorphins three hours ago and I haven't laughed this much before. Thank you producers of Leet World! I love you! Haha! ENJOY. Its so goood!



Laugh and Live!

Ice Ice Baby

Ice Ice Baby


Crap, last thursday, mum spoke to me. One to one. And when that happens, it's not really a good thing. I couldn't believe how long she could go on for. Yadda yadda yadda. Ack. After that, we didn't talk to each other until today. She didn't cook for me, she didn't give me my pocket money. There was one day I didn't eat at all. (fasting with my muslim friends. lol)

School's alright I suppose. Pratap and I haven't done our September break's lit essay and somehow managed to put it off till now by telling our Lit teacher that we already sent it to her email. I guess when she asks us, we'll just put on our innocent and confused faces and reply:

"Huh? Really? You didn't get it? No way! We sent it! Oh wait, maybe I didn't type your email address properly. Aww crap. alright we'll get it proper next time."

So hopefully after this, she'll somehow forget to ask us to complete our essay and we'll get away scoot free! *Rub hands in glee* Heeheehee. MASTAAA OF EXCUSES! *Thumps Chest* That's me. Geez, I could churn out tons of excuses if you want me to. Wew.

Mid course exams are coming. Which'll decide our fate. Who will go on to year 2? Who will be doooooomed and retain and face the humiliation from everyone... Everyone in your class will be a year younger while you're a year older... Nooo! The suffering! The embarrassment! Aieee! It's only, what, 2 weeks or less from now? I REALLY NEED TO STASH MY LAPPY AWAY SOMEWHERE! Sighs... Wished I knew how to play a piano or something so when I'm bored I wouldn't use the computer but play the piano instead. That'll be more productive won't it? Yea it'll be. I'm planning to start at night. My revision or just tidying up my notes. Hopefully I'll stick with my plan and actually do it. HOPEFULLY.



Pray for me my friends...
PRAY!!

Food For Thought



*Person who tagged you : Sak

*My relationship with him/her : Classmates of a class who "pons" classes as a class. Isn't that just classy?

*5 impression you have on him/her : taller than me (sadly); Funkey Monkey; Very nice person; used to thought she was too loud; She's DEADLY under the rim.

*Memorable thing she/he has done for you: Oh ho! YES I KNOW! We... Together... We... Ponned school!

*most memorable words she has said to you : Nick Oohhhhhhhh

* if she/he becomes your lover,you will : What?! That's nuts! If that happens, must be because the world has come to an END.

*if he/she becomes your enemy,you will : What?! That's nuts! She must be must be an impostor of the real person then. Yea that must be it.

the desirable thing you want do for him/her now is : Helping her lose weight. Lol! Don't whack me. Joke! I don't think you're F__ anyway! Serious.

*your overall impression of him/her is : A glowing spark.

how do you think people around you feel about you : They must think I'm a total slacker. HEYYY, I didn't use to be, you know!

*characteristics you love about urself : Falling asleep during classes almost unnoticed sometimes.

*characteristics you hate about urself : Laziness

*the most ideal person you want to be is : Nah don't think I want to be ideal. I wouldn't be me then.

for people who care and like you, say sumtink to them : Awww really? That's so nice! Thanks and I care and like you too. Really. Serious.



**pass tis quiz to 10 ppl that you wish to noe how they feel bout you :

1) Casslyn!

2) Attar Shaheeeed

3) Afiq

4) Aminnnnnn

5) Jiv

6) Sarrah

7) Jesulyn

8) Sherry

9) Jia the Genius

10) Adil

*who is no.6 having a relationship with? : Nigel! And god, they're a crazy couple!
*Is no.9 a male/female : Female definitely. How I know? Check! *Whistles*
*if no.7 and no.10 are together will be a good thing : Mm, could be. They're both smart though!
*wad no.2 studying? : Republic Poly! sports excercise science. Sounds tough.
*wen was the last time you chat wif No.3 : Acks. LONG time ago mate. Bet he misses me.
*wad type of music no.8 like : Oh. That's a tough question. Shes likes THAT sort of music. Which is some sort of music.
*does no.1 has siblings : Yes! And they're all the same sex. Must be boring eh?
*will you woo no.3 : Woo! What a question. Hmm, if I was a girl, I would! Haha.
*how about no.7 : Heh. What sort of question is this? It's a repeat! I won't answer it.
*is no.o4 single? : Ho ho yes, but I'm sure he'll find the ONE soon! He shouldn't worry!
*wads the surname of no.5 : Kalaimani I think! Say it fast! Faster! FASTER!
*wads the hobby of no.4 : DOTA! CS! And mostly, being a funny ass! HAW HAW HAW!
do no.5 and no.9 get along well : Can't tell for sure. Cause like, they haven't even met before. These are all random questions isn't it.
*where is no.2 studying : First it was WHAT. Now its where. *Sighs* REPUBLIC I SAID!
*say sumtink casual about no.1 : Don't fall sick because of work again! I'll be WORRIED.
*have you tried developing feelings for no.8 : Woah! What a question and its supposed to be made public. Nah, I won't answer this sort of question too.
*where No9 live : Serangooooon. People who lives there are all GOOONS.
*What colour no.4 likes : BLACK! Lol! Sorry no its not. I'm being a racist ass. I don't know!
*are no.1 and no.5 best friends : Umm not quite, but they're good friends.
*does no.7 like no.2 : Dunno but dun think so!
*how you get to know no.2 : Not really your business is it. But I'll talk. In sec school.
*does no.1 has any pets : Yep, that'd be ME!
*is no.7 the sexiest person in the world : *cracks up* What if I said yes?!

School's here

School's Here


Oh oh that was quick. A week's all gone now. Back to the hell hole again.

Went out with Jes one day and she tried to get me to see why I should stay in a JC and not poly. My head was heavy with what she had told me when I got back. I was even thinking about it in the shower! Kind of saw the truth in what she was trying to tell me. (KIND of. Getting there but not yet!) Thanks!

So following her advice I took things one step at a time. Today, I shall file my notes! And I will! Then tomorrow I will study! Not too much at a time! Slowly, but surely!

School was alright today. Just had to get to school by 7.30 now, instead of the usual 8. Bummer. So that means a longer first period. Noooo! Had ANOTHER GP test again. When she started dishing out the papers I was like... OMG not again! *Faints* "The last one! I promise!" She says! Hopefully.

Well there's nothing much I can say anymore. Better get started with the filing! CS isn't really that fun anymore. Hmm wonder why I think so. But I suppose that's a good thing! See you guys laterrrr.



To work I go!
Hey Ho!

Sneak Peek

Sneak Peek

Ahh finally it's the holidays! Teacher's day on friday was alright. Hmm wasn't as much fun as when I was in secondary school though. It was the usual routine, ACES day workout, precious time with the teacher (only thing I enjoyed was the Hershey's Chocolates!) and then a performance put up by the students. All the same. *Yawn*

At first, Heelim and I were supposed to skip school that day, so we could go back to our secondary school instead but in the end, (for reason I know now) he wanted to go to school. At the end of the day we didn't even try to skip school earlier and we couldn't go back to our secondary school. DAMN YOU HEELIM! But we had fun. Met up with our old friends at a cyber cafe and had fun playing CS and DOTA.

Amin and co was funny! It's hilarious sticking around with them. God, I haven't had such a laugh since... Since never! God, you guys sure are FUNNEH! Decided to crash at my place afterwards, which happened to be invaded by a gang of girls. Rounded them up and got them to go before my mates came up. In the evening all of us met up with the rest at the usual (the court) before heading home when the lights went out. It was a nice day!

Nothing much happened over the weekends. Stayed over at my grans@amk. Cousin went ballistic cause I told him it was too late to play DOTA on my lappy. *rolls eyes* Sunday passed pretty quickly.

Went to see Cass this morning! FINALLY! Haven't seen her for AGES! Missed her presence! Felt so nice seeing her again. Tried to spend some quality time with her before she headed off to work at IMM. (works for a donut shop. MMMM DONUTS...) Really wished we had more time for each other. Her working hours are pretty long. And with me in school, its hard for us to meet up especially since she works on the weekends too. Bummer cass! Oh! Heard some dude's diggin' her. WTF?! Get away from her you ass! Before I shove my hands down your throat, rip through your chest, tear out your heart, cook it as dinner for the family's guinea pig, Stitch and hopefully watch your body shrivel slowly in hell. Hope your balls get cooked first. Can't wait to see it go POP!

I just had my maths tuition just now. Pretty brain dead right now. Dad's going NUTS! Went so far as to put these contraption thingy on the power socket so it'll cut off electricity to the router JUST to restrict my internet usage.

What the F___?!

Kind of pissed at that. How far they go to control me...




Wished holidays were forever....