Looking Bleak

My life... It's flashing before my eyes.

Oh god. What the heck have I done? I pray. I prayed to my ancestors... Please... Don't let it happen. I can't concentrate on work, I can't concentrate during lessons. I go home and the thing keeps going around my mind in circles and circles. Aargh!

I can't stand this. Had a history test today. Was totally unprepared for it. I was surprised I manage to crap through 2 whole page. Well done Nick, well done. Not a good day today. Never was since the past week. PW wanted to have a meeting today again. I was like. WHAT THE HELL? Last minute decision. God! Tell me earlier god damn! *nick slams fist down on table*

Breathes deep... OK OK, sorry mates. Let me cool down. So many things happening. I really can't think well. I need sleep but I can't sleep. I really need to hear and know the right RIGHT answer. PLEASE! Before I can sleep easily.

Summer test is drawing ever nearer. I think I'm going to fail everything except mother tongue. Wait a moment. No change that. I think I'm going to fail EVERYTHING. I'm going to retain. CRAP. This year isn't a good year for me. I'm sorry. I'm not making sense. I think I'm going to go now people...

Please... Let me hear what I want to hear... Whisper it in my ear. Softly. Gently... I pray...

Rainy Day

I want to be a Cloud, floating free above the world. Free from the worries that chains me when I'm human. Free from everything. All I want to do is just float and dream...

Sighs. I NEED TO STAY FOCUS! Really I do. Or else I'll be staying back a year in no time. No time at all. Grr. It's hard. Every time I have online work to do, I turn on my com, and suddenly, I'm not even doing my work any more. Aargh! Blast you homework!

Oh yea, got my DS!! Woo hoo! I didn't write about it sooner cause I was like too excited and I couldn't keep my hands off it that's why. Haha! Its sooo awesome! Warioware is nuts! Crazy game but so highly addictive. The game I'm playing now is Metroid: Prime Hunter. Its so cool! Its a first person shooter. Imagine that on a DS! How you say? The stylus! Yer! It totally rocks! Love it!

Right now, this blog is totally NOT updated. I've been so busy. Gosh. My life is going downhill from yesterday onwards. So much to do! So little time! Why can't I focus properly? WHY WHY WHY??? Aargh!

Project Work is taking up so much time, the assignments, especially essays keeps rolling in. What do the teachers think we are? Homework machine? I don't chow on work OK! Grrr. I hate it... I hate. I pray to my ancestors...

Please... Guide me through this part of my journey.

I HATE YOU!!!

WHAT the HECK is wrong with firefox today? This is my god damned second retyped post and I have NO intentions of RETYPING it again.

God damn you firefox! Don't make me put out the fire in you! *Shakes fist angrily*

Ok here's a super summary anyways.

Felt zombie-like whole day.
Talked to mum and told her everything about me and cass. Good thing is she doesn't mind us I THINK.
Skipped some service learning thingy. Hope it wasn't much.

Think I'm going to run to train for my NAPFA on friday. Wonder if I should. I'm sooo outta shape!!!

Please let me get my gold badge...

Woah!

Dang. Ok I chilled down a bit now. I decided to upload this pic. Pretty funny! Look at the SIZE of the condom. I put the phone there so you could compare.

On the label of THAT condom is says "Fit for a bull elephant!"

Why?

Why the !@# do they have to do this to me every EVERY time. My parents. I hate it whenever they do things like this.

They promised me a DS if I do well for my O levels. And when I did, they said wait a while so that they can go around to check the prices for it. So I did wait. Not a while. But five god damn months. FIVE months I waited while I was suppose to get it after the release of my results. FIVE MONTHS. And now, after I found a good deal. They took sooo long just to decide if its ok. I mean, WHAT THE HELL. I waited so long and you still want me to wait?

My dad makes me so frustrated everytime I TALK to him. He seems to have an ability to get on people's nerves. He'll never be able to teach a student. NEVER. He agreed to it but he's setting so much restrictions to my usage of the game that... Might as well NOT buy it! Aargh! Hate it hate it!! They're like: "No bringing it to school. I will keep it for you everynight. You're not allowed to play during the weekdays. I can guarantee that once you have that, you will not read any books. So I will set some limits... Yadda yadda yadda." Whatever!

Geez. I just wanted to throw my basketball at them while I was talking to my parents. I'm 17 years old for goodness sake. Let ME do what I want! Don't treat me like I am still 12! I KNOW what I will do with it. I WON'T let it affect my studies. I'm not some idiot who's going to jeopardise his education with THAT. Please. They didn't even had THAT much of a response when I bought my PS2. What's up with that?

GOOOOD! Just let me have a feeling of owning something by myself... You take away my laptop at night. You take away bits and pieces of my freedom even though I told you I'd make up for the wrong things I've done... Don't judge me now cause of what I did last time...

Just don't... Please...