My Grandma's Gonna Eat Me

My Grandmother is going to eat me.

Really, I think she's some kind of monster from another dimension where grandmothers attempt to devour their offspring's offspring.

She's really trying her best to fatten me up. Every meal there would be at least enough food for what, 4 people? When there's only 2 of us in this household? Not being a very big eater anymore, I will usually only take enough food until my stomach is satisfied. (Satisfied and not FULL. That's how we should eat!) And when I do that, she'll start rambling in hokkien (or some alien language for all I know since I can't even pick up a single word while I can if my parents speak it) about me being a bad boy, how I'll never grow up, I'm not giving her respect and etc. Sometimes it'll irk me and drive me to the edge and I'll feel like shouting back at her. Then again, she's getting old and weary, I really should understand her better huh. BUT that doesn't mean she's not from another dimension out to EAT ME.

For lunch and dinner, she cooks these IMMENSE portion of food and side dishes where she expects me to clear it. Like even after she takes her share, she'll jab her chopsticks at the rest and tell me to finish it. REALLY, there's enough food left for 3 guys!! SEE! This is explicit evidence that she's out to turn me into a round meatball!

Then on days where I go to my maternal grandmother's place for dinner, my paternal grandmother would ALWAYS want to cook dinner for me first! And her logic behind that is simple: You'd be hungry before you reach there! (I look at the clock and it's only 5pm. Traveling takes only half an hour.) There ya go, another piece of proof. OR could this be some form grandmother rivalry?

My grandmother is better than your grandmother!

It's crazy I tell you. But fear not for my safety dear readers, for I am still an acceptable weight and have been trying to slim down with much much running and exercises.




Watch this space for a new bodacious Nick.



(In terminator's voice: I'll be back)