Toilet

Hello my meaty friends.

You know, recently I found that going to pee-pee in the toilet is getting harder for me. Whenever I pee I always have to pass some wind out as well. It's like some dual-toxin-outlet-port. I pass toxin out in front, as well as behind now. How convenient.

However, this noisy process can become quite a problem in public waste disposal chambers. Lol it happened quite often a few weeks back. I had the most immense urge to let the gas outta my system while I was urinating, but because there were other people around me I had to try to hold it back.

That's harder than it sounds.

Holding your fart back in your butt is an indescribable feeling, but describe it still I shall. Have you ever had an experience like that? Holding back a large amount of fart is near impossible really. When it comes, you have to let it go. Holding it back is a bad thing. Grandma/mum says it becomes "wind in your stomach" if you do that. Which is a bad thing. Don't ask me how, but if it's bad, it's bad right?

If you have been holding it back for a long time and you still try to hold it back, it really really will hurt. There was once I held my fart in for so long cause I couldn't find a deserted place to release my gas that it hurt and it actually brought me down to my knees when I got home. It's like some internal butt cramp. Cramps inside you. A bit further up your butt. It seriously hurts!

So the other day at the shopping mall's toilet which was averagely populated, I let my fart out in tiny bursts. At the same time, I worked my butt cheeks away from each other (which is quite difficult to do I realised) so as to minimise the amount of noise it'll make. (That squeak-squeak or the bloooorgh-bloooorgh.) OMGOSH, it's so embarrassing I tell you. My plan failed and I let out an audible squeak. I zipped outta there once I was done. Good luck to those still in the toilet. It was DA BOMB.

OH yea. Lol I have this habit I'm ashamed of but nevertheless, I will still share it with you all. What is it?

I
Like
To
Release
Trails
Of
Fart
When
I'm
Walking
Around
In
Malls.

There! Haha. And it's harder to get caught cause there's so many people and by the time someone realises it, you'll be looong gone. (Eat my dust! No wait, smell my gas suckers!) LOL. Ok of course I don't do that when I'm with friends. So embarrassing and the probability of you being the last one lagging behind is... I don't know. Just. Yea whatever. It's just bad. So.. Don't do it when you're with friends. Okay, shit, I'm not asking you to leave a methane trail when you go out....

But it's so funny!! (And fun in a way. Call me sick/crazy)

Poot-pooooot-poot!