ON HOLD

SORRY, LIFE'S GOING IN A STRAIGHT LINE.

GETTING MENTALLY PREPARED FOR RETURN OF MY FAMILY.

LIFE CHANGING EVENT YOU SEE.


ON HOLD.

Missing You

Dear You,

You were just an ugly being when I first got you on the night a few days after my birthday. You were the best gift I could have ever received for my 21st. Barely able to walk straight, so ugly that I could see whatever shit that going through your throat, yet somehow you were a fascinating little thing. You drove me nuts with your incessant squawking to be fed. I had to get up at the wee hours of the morning just to feed you before going back to bed, and sometimes even earlier if I had to go to work. You stank up your cage nearly every day and I had to wrinkle my nose and made sure that you had a nice clean and comfortable place to sleep. You made yourself be known by pooping everywhere you went. And for the first time in my life, I saw that it was possible for someone, or something to squirt poop. It was an amazing sight to see it fly right out of your cage and land a feet away. Too bad it all happened to quickly to be caught on tape.

You grew up so quickly before my very eyes, and before I knew it, my life revolved around you. You changed my lifestyle for the better. Because of you, I woke up earlier and slept earlier. You even made me stay away from my computer! And that's no easy feat. By then, you were starting to grow bigger and I went to get a bigger cage just for you.

It was such a joy to see you able to hop around and it was ever so fascinating to see what you would get up to when left to your own devices. Even ah ma - who chided me for buying you out of the blue - got attached to you as well. It was a cause for celebration when you finally knew how to fly. Zooming around the house looking for someone's shoulders to land on become a norm in the household. The flutter of your wings signalled your approach.

Your presence in the house is sorely missed by its inhabitants. I've never missed any pet like you before (even when the guinea pig died). That's how much you are loved. Then again, I did practically feed you ever since you were a week old. I missed how you stood next to me on my shoulder and would huddle close to me to nibble on my ear ever so gently. I swear you knew that I enjoyed it and know not to do it too hard. I knew you were smart. You learnt how to 'turnaround' so quickly even though at the sight of food you couldn't stop spinning. But that just makes you all the more cuter. You'd hang around whenever I was mopping the flloor, you'd hang around when I did my work on the computer (pecking at my fingers whenever I disturbed you and the mouse), you'd hang around on my iPad when I used it, you'd hang around Ah ma whenever she was cooking or chopping up vegetables. Now you're driving HER crazy. She randomly starts calling "Yeww, Yeuuuu. Yewwww."

You were the first ever pet in the Oh family to have a facebook page dedicated just fo you. And you nearly had a fan group going. Everyone wanted a picture with you on their shoulders or heads. It could have become a movement. We could have made it big, You and I.

But you decided to become a bitch and fly away did you not?

After all that I've done for you, the food the accommodation, and the love that we showered on you, you took off just like that! You're a f**ker! The worst! Like those stories of cheena women disappearing with their husband's cash. You stupid bitch, why'd you leave? You ingrate, I hope you starve.

Why're you so stupid?!?!?!?!?

Is it cause I didn't let you out of your cage long enough? Is it cause I laughed at you whenever you did something? What is it?

I'm sorry! I'm sorry I called you a f**ker, a bitch an ingrate! I'm sorry, please come back! I promise to leave your cage door open. I'll give you all the nuts you want. I won't force you to play dead. I'll let you poop all over the furniture if you want to.

ANYTHING. JUST COME BACK YOU STUPID BIRD.


Your dishevelled, on the verge of depression owner
Nick

We had good times didn't we? Come back You..

Heard Around The House

Jia: Eh Nick, eat tofu.
Nick: -Incredulous look-
Nick: Whaaat?! A girl's asking me to 吃她的豆腐？First time getting that.
Jia: Uhh what the?!

Sticky Tape of Love

I've been bumming around recently since I've been laid off at work (no biggie, I'm just waiting for a higher calling) and I started watching videos of my favourite "band", Flight of the Conchords again on youtube.

If you listen carefully to their lyrics of their songs, you would find meaningful words below all the witty humour mixed in with it. I've hardly come across a musical group that produces music like they do. Here's one of my all time favourite songs:

Lives are like retractable pencils
If you push them too hard they're gonna break
And people are like paper dolls
Paper dolls and people, they're a similar shape
Hmm hmm hm
Love is like a roll of tape
It's real good for making two things one
But just like that roll of tape
Love sometimes breaks off before you were done
Another way that love is similar to tape
That I've noticed
Is sometimes it's hard to see the end
You search on the roll
(search on the roll)
Search on the roll
(searching round the roll)
Search on the roll
(search)
With your fingernail
Again and again
And again and again
And again.
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with the tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff.
People people Chorus: Brown paper, white paper
Paper paper Stick it together with tape
Paper paper The tape of love
People people
People people
Pencil pencil
Pencil pencil
Paper paper
Put the pencil to the paper
Give the paper to the people
Let the people read about the sello tape
Oh baby baby
Yeah
You know, Jemaine, I've been thinking about love. And I guess it's the very stron-
gest adhesive.
Oh sorry, Bret. Were you talking to me? I was humming. What did you say?
Oh, just...nothing.
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
The sticky stuff
Yeah
Ooh brown
Brown paper, white paper
Stick it together with tape
The tape of love
Say it
Sticky
Stick stick
Stick it together
Ye-yeah

Awesome aren't they? Especially's Jermaine's "People people, paper paper..." part. I'm sure you'll like their other videos too. You should go check them out. Sadly, I heard that their programme has been discontinued on HBO. Boo!

Anyway wish I could go cycling again at ECP and just sit and chill. Wouldn't you? Let the waves roll away all our problems and stress! Haha I'm all ready for it, just ring me up anytime. Don't worry, I don't bite.

And now, back to my report!

Serve Me Up a "炒油渔!"

I woke up late this morning for work and immediately informed my boss that I overslept and will be there late. Perhaps not a very "creative" excuse but it was an honest and truthful reason for me turning up late right? That didn't go too well for my boss though.


SMS Conversation

Nick: "Ahh gonna be late! Sorry sorry just woke up."
Boss: "Where are you?"
Nick: "Yishun!"
Boss: "You're not working today?"
(THIS was the most confusing part. So he's implying that I didn't have to work today?)
Nick: "I'm not? Oh I thought I'm working 1130-9 no?"
Boss: "What time is it now?"
Nick: "What am I? Your timekeeper? Why don't you call the Mr LKY and ask him what day it is today too? Err so I'm not supposed to work today?"
Nick: "Uhh so I'm not supposed to be working today?"
Boss: "You reward yourself with a holiday?"
Nick: "Huh what? What holiday? The next ones not till next week what!"
(Presidential elections and me employing army's 'Act blur, live longer')
Boss: "What an attitude!"
Boss: "Send in your august hours."
(Ahh trying to dismiss me and act 一个 boss eh?)
Nick: "Attitude? What're you talking about?? I'm so confused!!"
(Me still trying to act blur.)
Boss: "Since when I told you not to work?"
Boss: "If u are not working today and do not give a proper reason, according to the standard procedure, you have to go."
(Wait whut? 'Standard procedure? There wasn't even a procedure he had in the first place! And 'proper reason?' I gave an honest and truthful answer! Did you want me to lie about something 'proper' to the occasion then?)
Nick: "Since just now lar! "You're not working today?" SEE. And I'm not going. The one who's going is YOU. I QUIT. You didn't fire me, you hear me fool?!"
(Always wanted to do that.)
Boss: "ok."

HAHAHAHA okay sorry that wasn't exactly what happened. Wished it was though. Go out with a bang ya know?


.
.
.
Nick: "Huh what? What holiday?"
(Employing army's "Act blur live longer motto.")
Boss: "What an attitude!"
(Oh guess that didn't work on him.)
Boss: "Send in your august hours."
Nick: "No no wait, I really really don't get it! I really thought I had to work today, but just now you said that I had no work today? So now I'm confused, do I have to work today?"
Boss: "Since when I told you not to work?"
Boss: "If u are not working today and do not give a proper reason, according to the standard procedure, you have to go."
Nick: "But I really did overslept! Ahh I see, okay okay. Well thanks for giving me a job in the first place though. It was good retail experience and I got to see how ugly customers can get. Interesting eyeopener. So long and hope your business booms!"
(Was contemplating about saying something mean, but didn't want to end up being immature like what happened before so I decided not to.)
Boss: "ok."

And there you have it, my boss treated me to a "炒油渔"! I'm not feeling to down about it. Just annoyed that he took my honest answer as an invalid excuse for being late at work. I have a feeling that he'd probably rather me lie to him something about bringing my grandma to the clinic or something. He ought to belong in the NSS, National Society of Sarcasm. If there was one... Kinda confusing when trying to understand him. He could be really nice and friendly one time like he treated me lunch then suddenly he's like this, firing me, making me redundant, obsolete to the company, laying me off, cutting loose ends. Whatever! I've been there for a while already and have been toying with the idea of finding a different job experience anyway. No time better than now!